Well, there are countless reasons…

For one, I don’t feel the cold nearly as much as the average 100% human because I am, in fact, not actually 100% human.

Another reason is comfort. Shorts are just more comfortable to me.

That’s why I can not wear a pair of jeans, because they are really uncomfortable and, in addition, not aesthetically pleasing.

I also like showing the scar on my leg that I got from falling of my bike about three years ago (Joke).

Also, I don’t have any money to buy pants, because I spend all my money on sneakers… which is is another reason I don’t wear pants.

Plus, if the pants are really wide, I can’t see my shoes and that bothers me. And if I get pants that aren’t as wide… Well, no one wants to see that…

And there’s another subject I would like to touch upon.
Why do people care? I don’t! I just scraped together reasons at the request of my classmates. But the real reason is that I just don’t care enough about pants.
Why are you reading this article? Because if you are, it proves that you genuinely care about what pants I wear– isn’t that pathetic? Think about what else you could be doing with your time. You could be reading the other articles on this website which are probably exponentially more relevant!

Why are you still reading this? Go!