Rob Ford: They Thought He Was Back, However…


Rob Ford, Ex-Mayor of Toronto
Rob Ford, Ex-Mayor of Toronto

Robert Bruce “Rob” Ford was taken from this world on March 22, 2016. He died of cancer. The Canadian Mayor of Toronto, who was known for his consumption of copious amounts of cocaine, was a great man and was remembered for the wrong things. Remembered, that is, until he was believed to be with us once more.

Rob Ford’s body was found to be missing from his grave on May 11, 2016, and Canada’s top minds were baffled. They’d never seen anything like this before. “He obviously wasn’t stolen, this is Canada!” Justin Trudeau, Canada’s current prime minister boldly claimed in an interview. “We don’t have those kinds of people here!” When Canada’s top logistical theorist, Hugh Jundys, declared that due to the fact that nobody in Canada has the evil in them to steal anything, even a corpse, Mayor Ford must have come back to life.

“We investigated the hell out of the case,” Michel Coulombe, director of the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS), revealed in an interview. “We searched all over Canada, we went to the States, up to Yukon and the North.” CSIS found the body three graves down, and they figured out when he’d been buried. “April 1st, it was just a prank! We knew a Canadian could never do something so mean, it was just a light-hearted joke.”