Vladimir Putin has finally returned after his mysterious disappearance. When asked where he was, he told us about his terrible vacation.

Because of the tension between Israel and America over Obama’s negotiation with Iran, Vladimir Putin invited Barack Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu to spend a few days with him at his personal water park and mansion outside of Moscow.

After consulting with advisors, Obama and Netanyahu cancelled plans at the last minute.  Unfortunately, their messages were not delivered to Putin or his advisors in time and reports state that Putin waited at the park for hours.  In a phone interview, Putin explained what a horrible time he had at the water park. Not wanting to be alone, he invited Xi Jinping, the President of China, to accompany him. To add to Putin’s luck, President Jinping turned out to be a not-so-fantastic guest. Putin stated that Jinping was afraid to go on most of the rides, chews with his mouth open, snores so loud Putin could hear him from three rooms over, and worst of all, Putin reported, he is quite the talker.

Putin said he’s glad to be back to ruling the country, because if he’d stayed with Jinping any longer he probably would have started a thermonuclear war with China.